As I was on my visit trip I felt utter amazement. On this trip, we were out of PGN, our precious girl-OURS. I cried and prayed each time I rocked her to sleep-in awe that God has given me the awesome, glorious task of raising her to know and love Him. I just kept thinking that finally the law had caught up with my heart! She has been mine since I was a child-imagining my daughter someday. She has been mine since I was 6 and knew that I would adopt. She has been mine since we were both mere thoughts in our Creator's mind. This PGN approval is just confirmation of what my already knew all along!
Amazing what a year it has been since we chose her. I've had the opportunity to travel to the beautiful country of her birth 3 times. I have met and made friends that will last a lifetime. They have become my family! I have had the honor of meeting and thanking her perfect foster family who love her so much. Hubby and I have grown closer than ever. I have laid on my kitchen floor and screamed and pounded the floor with my fists. I have gotten in my car to drive and scream and pray. I have eaten everything in sight...I've puked my guts out...twice...I've laughed and cried and found out who my true friends are. I have worked and saved money till I never wanted to work again! I have decorated a room, I have shopped and shopped and shopped! I have talked for endless hours about this precious baby! I have blogged and prayed and worried and trusted. I have grown and matured and gained perspective...
2 Corinthians 12:1-10
- I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know--God knows. And I know that this man--whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows-- was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say. To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
3 comments:
Beth, you are going to be such an amazing and sweet Mommy:) Isabella Faye is going to be so blessed to have you and John as parents. I am so happy for you guys!! I know this year has been such a long, hard journey, but the rewards...WOW! God is good!! Love you Beth,
~Candi
You and John are going to be great parents. Isabella is so lucky to have you two, and you two to have her! I pray for you daily. I know it's hard waiting. I love seeing her pic's on her. She is such a precious little girl!
Beth,
Everything you said is so very true..the growth i have been blessed with and the friendships that some how seem so much better and more real than friends that are right here, I start to cry at the pain and happiness and just all of the emotions that I have felt through our process. I may be stone cold to some, but I will never forget what I have been through and it is now a bitter sweet memory. I love you so much!
oh susannah who is crying for you and won't forget the pain i've felt and friendship that we grew.
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