Some thoughts...

IF is sleeping and the house is mostly clean so I have a rare moment to not just post pictures but to share some of what I have been thinking and feeling over the last few weeks since IF has been home.

There were those times during IF's adoption process that we trully did wonder if she would ever come home. There was so much I kept to myself, not wanting to worry anyone-not wanting to bear the looks of doubt and pity. There were days that I literally fell to the floor in complete, utter hopelessness. I would scream and cry and beg the Lord to interviene until my voice went and a peice of my heart died.

There were days didn't want to get out of bed and nights that I feared sleep. I dreaded leaving the house becuase seeing other people out and about with thier children was almost too much to take.

I just can't describe the pain strongly enough.

But I surivived! With the strength of my Great God, I made it! With the loving help of friends, family and blog-readers, I was victories! Now, as I type and my beautiful little bundle of happiness and spunk sleeps on my couch with a slight smile on her chubby-cheeked face, I can smile and say that God brought me through a stronger, kinder, more patient person with an iron will and mended heart. He healed my brooken heart-restored my weary mind and everyday He works to help me shead the bitterness that I hold toward those responsible for our delays. Everyday, He fills my already over-flowing cup with more joy and more hope and more peace!

My miracle, my dream come true is home and safe and happy! And I am not the person I was when I started. I am stronger. My marriage is stronger. My relationships are tighter and healthier.

My calling in life, to me a wife and mother-is being fullfilled everyday.

There are struggles, ups and downs, but at the end of the day, as I rock my sweet girl to sleep, I just kiss her brow and praise my God with all my heart.

Thank you Lord for answering my prayers, for allowing me to be your little masterpiece Isabella Faye's Momma.