One Year Ago Today: Nana

This post is from one year ago today.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Much on my heart...

Today we went to Antigua (which I love) with our wonderful angel Henry (more on him later) and Nana Janeth, Jenifer and Abby. We had a wonderful day! We saw a coffee plantation and learned (from the owner!!) all about the process. Grammie and Nana sampled some coffee and I took their word for it!! (I don't like coffee!) But, we got Daddy some coffee and we can tell him just how and where it was made!

Then we went to the market! Oh...the market! It is wall-to-wall stuff! We got some souvenirs for friends and family and I learned a thing or two about bargaining!

After that we toured two amazing churches. Both were damaged by earthquakes. I love church buildings. I know that God is everywhere...but there is just something sacred, holy and right about a church. Oh these two, even in their altered states were exquisite. There was much on my mind today. I think almost constantly of my father-in-law so very, very sick and getting worse with still no diagnosis, so no real course of treatment. I think of my husband, who needs us to be home, with him...to comfort him. I think of Nana and her family as they have to say goodbye to Isabella Faye, who they love like their own. I worry about how expensive this adoption has been. I think of this journey...all the angels along the way. From all my dear new friends, to the bond that has grown even deeper with old friends, to all the miracles along the way, the ups and downs, the tears and laughter...and I am overwhelmed. So, in one of the churches, in the sacred home of countless worshipers, believers in our great God and his miracles, as the others looked around, I took a quick moment to ask for a few of my own! To the Lord I said, "please fix it all."
In that simple prayer, I asked for healing of my father-in-law on this side of Heaven, for my husband to feel my love and strength from afar, for perfect peace that passes all understanding for Nana and her family, for financial blessings to pay all this off and forgiveness for any financial shortcomings in our life, for blessings on all who have made this adoption journey easier, for my daughter, my laughing, smiling, high-tempered, energetic, funny, ketchup-eating daughter, named for my Mother!

I am forever changed by this day, which was so much more than just a site-seeing adventure. I thank God for Nana and her family. I got to watch Abby and Jenifer today with Isabella Faye and they adore her. They are so kind and respectful, caring and funny. I wish I could take them all home with me! Watching Nana and the girls with Isabella today, I found myself thinking of what it means to be a Christian. Surely giving her whole heart to a child you know is leaving, knowing your heart is gonna break but with reckless abandon loving them anyway, is what Jesus had in mind when he taught about love. I am in awe of their selfless, perfect love for my child. May we all strive to love with their abandon.

My dear friend Amy left this comment that day:

As I read your post, I thought of a new song out by Big Daddy Weave, "What Life Would Be Like." The chorus says...

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus life thru you and me

Today, Jesus lived through you and through Nana as you shared a day in the life of your daughter, named for your mother. What a beautiful picture. Praying you all the way back home!

I miss Nana Janeth and her family so much. I think daily of them as I know they are missing Isabella Faye. One year later, I still haven't been able to formulate words to describe the level of my gratitude to Nana for all she did for my sweet girl, and for us, with her constant contact throughout our process.

Like the words of the song above, Nana let Jesus live through her in all she did for Isabella Faye and for us. Bless this precious woman and her family.