Our blessed Easter

We had an incredible Easter with Isabella Faye home. When IF woke up, she laid in her bed and sang and talked to herself for a while. Finally, I heard that sweet sound Momma! When I went in, she was laying in her bed, surrounded by Teddy and Bear looking with a huge grin on her face. I told her that it was Easter and that this was the day we celebrate Jesus making a way for us to live forever in Heaven with Jesus. I told her, in my best 19 month old tailored explanation, all about Easter and then she held my hand and squeezed her eyes tightly shut as I prayed and thanked God that we could spend forever in Heaven with Him.

Oh all the times I collapsed on the floor of that room and prayed and prayed for IF to come home! This day, how I rejoiced in praying with IF in that room!

Next it was Easter Basket time. IF got lots of goodies but the highlight for her was the 12 pack of mini cream eggs. She danced with them, sang to them, kissed them, and just had to eat two before breakfast!!

How well I remembered last year when I ate cream eggs to cope!! This day, we ate them together-with lots of giggles!

I fixed a big breakfast and we gathered around the table to eat and talk.

This time last year, we ate in the living room, sitting in our chairs, wishing…Now we eat, as a forever family-at the table, one of us on each side of IF’s highchair!

We went to church and IF was the center of attention with her new dress and pigtails!

And this day, unlike last year, my arms didn’t ache to hold her. They ached because she weighs 25 pounds and she’s squirmy!

After church we went to the cemetery to see the newly placed grave stone for Poe Poe’s grave. We celebrated the hope of Easter, that death is not the end. Jesus conquered death and made a way for all of us. We take comfort in knowing that Poe Poe isn’t gone, just moved on, watching sweet IF from his perfect home in Heaven.

This time last year, Poe Poe was teasing John about how life with a baby would never be the same! And, though we don’t understand why God called him home when He did, we are thankful that God sent us IF, new life…who gets her sweet sense of humor from her Poe Poe and keeps us laughing through our grief.

After church, we started the new tradition of our immediate family eating Easter lunch. Now, I’m still refining my culinary skills…so our favorite local Mexican restaurant did the cooking!

I can’t tell you the times when we would eat there and John would wonder…what would IF be doing if she was here? This day she dipped her chips in ketchup, insisted that John give her all her drinks and ate refried beans with her hands…

Next we went to Aunt Ks Mom’s house for dessert and an Easter egg hunt. IF had no trouble understanding what to do and was hunting eggs like a seasoned professional! After eating more candy than any 19 month old should have in a week, Aunt K got some great pics of her.

Last year, her Easter Basket sat in her room, untouched. This year, she happily filled that same Easter basket, three times!

Later we went to John’s families for Easter dinner. IF got a new slide from her aunts and she and her soon to be cousin La La and cousin Jaz spent most of the night sliding, hiding and dancing!

Oh the family dinners spent trying to explain yet another setback, seeing that look in their eyes. That look that says they wonder if it will ever happen…if she’ll ever really be home. This year, all eyes twinkled with amusement as IF sang and did hand motions to the Itsy Bitsy Spider and Pat-a-cake Cake.

That night, worn out from her day, Isabella Faye fell asleep snuggled against her Daddy on the couch. As I watched her sleep, God reminded me of this song:

The lyrics were written by Elvina Hall and the tune is by John T. Grape. The tag was added later by Kristian Stanfill and is incredible.

I’ve shared it before on the blog, but indulge me!


Jesus Paid it All


I hear the Savior say

Thy strength indeed is small

Child of weakness....watch and pray

Find in me....thine all in all



Lord, now indeed I find

Thy power and Thine alone

Can change the leper's spots

And melt the heart of stone



For nothing good have I

Whereby Thy grace to claim

I'll wash my garments white

In the blood of Calvary's Lamb



And when before thy throne

I stand in Him complete

Jesus died my soul to save

My lips shall still repeat

Jesus paid it all

All to Him I owe

Sin hath left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead!
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead!

This time last year, things were bleak…Kicked out of PGN, there was no end in sight. This time last year, God reminded me of this same song. God reminded me that though I’m not strong, HE is. He reminded me that the adoption, that Isabella Faye was safely in His arms. He reminded me that His power alone would bring IF home…that in good and bad, I must praise Him. Because His will would be done in Isabella Faye’s life-that His will is perfect. And even though I didn’t know if she would ever come home, I trusted Him and on that Easter, with renewed hope I sang

Jesus paid it all

All to Him I owe

Sin hath left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead!
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead!

This year, with unadulterated praise I sang it again!

Oh praise the one who saved me…
Oh praise the one whose love and grace and mercy are unconditional…
Oh praise the one who brought my baby home…

Happy, Happy Easter!