Permission to grieve

You know, as I have gone through this adoption process, I have had the most difficult time figuring out how I could truly believe, have faith, have patience and courage but still be so sad! I started to doubt myself, thinking maybe I didn't have enough faith, maybe I didn't really believe. But then, today I read the post of a friend from our agency's forum. God used her to speak so clearly to me! She talked about how she had given herself permission to grieve. I realised then, that's what I'm doing! I'm grieving that this adoption is not going how I thought it would-how I want it to. I'm grieving the void in our hearts and home. I'm grieving the loss of time with my daughter. I'm grieving for her foster Mom as she grows more and more attached because she will have her for so long. I'm grieving missed Christmas and now Valentine's Day. I'm grieving on Saturdays as I think of us missing Mommy and Isabella Faye time. And grief is natural and okay! I grieve for her because I love her! I'm human, I'm a mom! The Bible makes more than one reference to Jesus grieving. Jesus-who knows it all! Who knows more than any of us because He is with God and through the Trinity, IS God knows that in the end, WE WIN! Jesus, knowing full well that He could raise Lazarus from the dead, grieved for Him-cried when His dear friend died. God, though He knew that Jesus would rise again, would stay at His right hand and bring all us believers home, turned away-grief stricken at the sight of His son the cross.
My grief is nothing to feel guilty about, nothing to make me doubt my faith. If fact, I'm finding it quite freeing as I have given myself permission to grieve!